When most people think of paid leave, the first thing they think of is the need for new moms to take time away from work to recover from childbirth and bond with their babies. They think of moms coping with sleepless nights, navigating an ever-changing body, and learning their new baby. We know that women in the U.S. do more unpaid caregiving than men, and women are much more likely to take unpaid time away from the workforce. Paid leave would help mitigate the harm to women’s economic security and careers and close the gender wage gap.
But this Father’s Day, it’s time to talk about how critical it is for men to take paid leave. Paid leave has huge benefits for men – it allows them to be more involved parents and caregivers, it reduces stigma against men who are caregivers, and reduces the need for public assistance. It also benefits their whole families, leading to better child development, more happy and stable marriages, and better economic security for women.
And yet too many men go without paid leave. One study found that only one in 20 dads in professional jobs took more than two weeks off after their most recent child was born – and a staggering three out of four took one week or less. Low-income fathers face even higher barriers: one study of disadvantaged families found that nearly 60 percent of fathers reported taking zero weeks of paid time away from work after the birth or adoption of a child. Men in the 14 states (including D.C.) with public paid leave programs are better off, but they still must navigate stigma and outdated gender norms.
Last year, when I was pregnant with my first child, I knew that it was crucial to have a plan for both my husband and me to take leave. Thanks to the DC Paid Family Leave program and the fact that we both work for employers who provide more paid leave than required by law, we could each take 16-18 weeks of parental leave – four weeks together at the beginning, then my husband would return to work while I finished my leave, and finally I would return to work while he took the rest of his leave. This gave us the peace of mind that I would be able to recover physically from childbirth with his support, that we would have the opportunity to bond together as a family and each individually with our baby and that we could delay sending our baby to daycare until he was six months old.
On March 18, 2024 my husband and I welcomed a perfect baby boy into the world. With all of our preparation, there was one thing we genuinely didn’t expect – how amazing and joyful parental leave would be. Having four weeks together where the only thing that mattered was taking care of our baby and being together as a family, without having to worry about our jobs or income, was nothing short of the most magical experience we’ve ever had in our lives. People would ask us how we were coping with the sleepless nights, but we genuinely weren’t sleep deprived – we took care of our baby in shifts so each of us got a 6-hour stretch of sleep every single night. Crucially, I was able to recover physically from an unplanned C-section by getting enough rest and sleep because my husband was there to support me and care for our baby. And over a year later, my husband is still just as involved in our child’s care and household responsibilities as I am – in no small part due to the rhythm and experience we were able to build and gain during our parental leave. There have been plenty of hard moments, but being able to go through this experience with each other’s support removed so many of the challenges that we expected to face.
If my husband didn’t have paid parental leave, my physical and mental health would have been at risk, and he would have missed out on key bonding time with our newborn. It is unconscionable that moms, dads and other caregivers in 37 states have to go without paid leave and miss these key life moments.
That’s why we need a federal paid leave policy now more than ever. The FAMILY Act, which has been introduced in Congress by Representative Rosa DeLauro (D-CT) and Senator Kirsten Gillibrand (D-NY) every session since 2013, would guarantee 12 weeks of paid leave to welcome a new child, to care for a family member, or to care for your own serious medical needs. It would cover all workers, no matter where you live or work. And it would allow all parents to be there for their families during the first precious weeks of a new child’s life. It is long past time for Congress to pass paid leave for all so that no more parents have to miss these precious moments that they will never get back.
